Self Forgiveness by Chris Esty

Live not in yesterday, Look back and you may sorrow. Live precisely for today, Look forward to tomorrow. - J. J. Hulsgen

People have a tendency to think about what they should have done when the time has already been far spent to change what can no longer be altered. Thus, they allow their attention to be drawn to the idea of 'failing' when such failures no longer exist. They no longer exist because they belong to the past, not to the past.

But why is it so hard for people to accept this? Why is it so difficult to forgive the past and move on?

Must we continue to fail all the time when we merely failed once? In other words, just because we failed that does not mean we are still failing. And even if we failed in the same way more than once that does not mean failure is unavoidable. Yet, we often live in failure by allowing the past to keep reminding us of mistakes that we have ceased to make long ago.

Forgiving yourself makes perfect sense then, because there is no point in thinking about what you should have done when there is nothing you can do at the moment to change what has already passed. Instead, it is better to just simply do what you know ought to be done today rather than to think about how things might have turned out if you did it yesterday...

You see, it's not for us to think about what might have happened 'if' we did what we think we were supposed to do, but to put what we know ought to be done into motion 'now', to make positive things happen in the present and to pave the way for a future without regrets. After all, isn't this what self forgiveness is all about?

If you let the failures of your past consume your thoughts and control your emotions you will continue to be its prisoner. Thus, you will never really experience the joy that the present would soon give you if you would open your eyes to the fact that you can act now and start over!

Of course, there might have been situations where you hurt certain people, and can no longer make things right with them as they are not within your reach anymore. However, that still doesn't give you good reason to live in regret, because living in regret is not something that anyone should do, because it will change nothing for the better, but only cause more pain.

There is a positive side to this however, because if you know you should have done something, but didn't do it, at least you can say you are not ignorant of what ought to be done now, right?

So forgive yourself and move on. Stop thinking about what you could have done and start thinking about what you can start doing today. Don't keep slipping into past regrets, but live in the present and gift the future with a legacy of promise and assurance for what can be done when people are willing to act in the 'Now'...

About the Author

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